Journal Entry

Dear GOD,

Today feels different. The air around me feels heavier, my spirit a little more fragile. I can’t escape the memory of the day I lost my children. That pain—oh, it lingers in ways that words can never fully describe. To carry life inside of me, to feel the joy of knowing I had twins, and then to have that hope ripped away—it’s something that left a wound in my soul that time has not healed.

Having a womb that bore life and yet sits empty now—it troubles me deeply. Some days I find myself questioning why, but then I’m reminded that God’s ways are not mine, and His ways are perfect. I may not understand why He allowed me to walk through that storm, but I choose to trust that there is purpose even in my pain.

During my pregnancy, I didn’t have much support. I was overjoyed when I discovered I was carrying twins, but that joy was quickly turned into heartbreak. Today, I relived that moment in my heart, and it still aches as though it just happened. Still, even as the tears fall, I cling to the promises of God—that He has heard my cries, that He knows my sorrow, and that He has not forgotten me.

This loss is a pain I never want to feel again, but I believe in my Father’s word. He promised that one day my womb will bring forth life again, that the spirit He breathed into me is also strong enough to sustain my babies. I remind myself that I am not empty; I am good enough, worthy enough, and chosen enough to mother the children He will bless me with in His perfect timing.

So, today, as I wrestle with sadness, I also hold onto faith. I whisper prayers for strength, knowing that through Christ, I can do all things—even survive this grief. I believe that one day I will hold life in my arms again, not just in my dreams. Until then, I will honor the memory of the little ones I lost and trust that one day I will see them again, whole and safe in God’s presence.

Lord, please don’t forget me. Remember my womb. Remember the longing of my heart. I pray You bless me once more with the chance to be a mother, to carry, to nurture, and to deliver a child in health and in joy. I will praise You no matter the outcome, but my heart will rejoice so deeply if You answer me in this way.

For now, I write this down to remind myself of Your promises. That though my journey has been painful, I am not forgotten. My story is not over.

Amen.