my name is Jessica and I’ve been really thinking about something that’s kind of bugging me. I just got these high heels, and before anybody gets the wrong idea, let me explain. They’re not those skinny stiletto-type shoes you see on fashion runways. These are wedges. They’ve got an open toe, and the back is out too. The heel isn’t sky-high, but it’s definitely high enough that you notice it’s a heel.
Now, here’s my question: do y’all think this is too much for church? I mean, I’m a young Christian woman and I love dressing nice, but I also don’t want to look like I’m doing too much. I don’t necessarily wear long dresses all the time, but I do wear skirts that go past my knees because I try to keep it modest. Still, I know how church folks can be sometimes, especially the older ones who have very strong opinions on what women should and shouldn’t wear.
I remember when I used to live up north, there was this girl I met who told me a story about when she was a little younger. She said she wore high heels to her church, and an older woman came up to her and told her straight up that she shouldn’t be wearing heels that high. She said it in that way that church mothers do—you know, like it’s part correction, part “I know better than you.” That stuck with me, because it made me wonder if people really look at your shoes that hard when you walk into the house of God.
I know the Bible talks about modesty and how we shouldn’t try to be flashy or draw too much attention to ourselves, but does a pair of wedges really count as that? I don’t wear flashy colors, I’m not showing too much skin, and I try to be respectful in how I dress. But I’m still a young woman and I like to look nice. And sometimes looking nice means I want to throw on a cute pair of shoes, not just the plain flats or church sandals.
The part that makes me hesitate is how people sometimes get caught up on little things. I’ve even heard people say you shouldn’t wear open-toed shoes in church, especially if you’re not wearing stockings. Some churches, especially the old-school ones, expect women to always have on stockings or tights, no matter what season it is. Honestly, that just feels outdated to me, but I don’t want to come off as disrespectful either.
One person told me before, “Well, if you feel like you might be judged, just wear tights with them.” But then I’m like, how do tights even look with open-toe wedges? Isn’t that kind of awkward? Like, am I supposed to tuck them in or just let the seam show? I don’t know, it just feels like trying too hard to please other people instead of just being myself.
Another thing I keep thinking about is that being modest doesn’t always look the same for everyone. Some women wrap their heads in church, others don’t. Some wear only long skirts, others wear pants. I even know some women who wear makeup and jewelry and still consider themselves modest, while others think that’s too much. So where do shoes fall in all of that? Is it really a matter of right and wrong, or is it just tradition and people’s personal opinion?
If I’m being honest, the last thing I want is for my shoes to distract somebody from worship. Like, I don’t want someone staring at my feet thinking, “Why did she wear those to church?” when we’re all supposed to be focused on God. But at the same time, should I really be carrying the weight of what other people think if I know my heart is right? Isn’t modesty more about intention and spirit than about whether I’ve got my toes out?
I’ll tell y’all this much—I’ve been going back and forth in my head all week about what to do. Sunday’s coming up, and I keep looking at those wedges in the box like, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” Part of me wants to wear them proudly and just ignore any side-eyes. Another part of me feels nervous, like I’m walking into trouble if I do.
So, ladies—and even the fellas if y’all want to weigh in—what do you think? Are wedges with an open toe really “too much” for church? Or is this one of those things where people make rules God never made? I just want to find a balance where I can look nice, stay true to myself, and still honor God in how I present myself.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, y’all. I’m really curious what your take is.
– Jessica
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Hi Jessica, I totally get your question because I’ve been there. I had a pair of peep-toe pumps I loved, but I hesitated to wear them to church because of what people might say. And you’re right—some folks will tell you open-toe shoes aren’t “church appropriate” or that you should only wear them with stockings.
For me, I ended up realizing that different churches have different cultures. In some places, it’s super strict. In others, they don’t even blink at what you wear as long as it’s respectful. The wedge you’re describing doesn’t sound over-the-top at all. It actually sounds classy. If you’re worried, maybe try them on with your skirt and see how it looks overall. Sometimes it’s not the shoes themselves but how the whole outfit comes together.
At the end of the day, you’re not trying to be rebellious—you just want to look nice for God’s house. I think that’s beautiful. Don’t let other people’s opinions box you in too much. God sees your heart before He sees your shoes.
Hey Jessica, I don’t think you’re overthinking it at all—this is a real thing a lot of us young Christian women struggle with. I grew up in a traditional church where stockings were basically a requirement, and if your shoes showed your toes, somebody’s mother was gonna side-eye you from the pews. But honestly, that’s tradition, not the Bible.
The way I see it, God looks at your heart, not whether your heels are two inches or four. Wedges with an open toe aren’t disrespectful. They’re not flashy, they’re not wild, and they’re not pulling focus away from worship unless somebody decides to make it an issue. If your skirt is modest and your spirit is right, you’re fine. I think a lot of times the “don’t wear this, don’t wear that” comes from personal preferences passed down through generations, and not actual scripture.
My advice: wear your wedges with confidence. If anyone says something, just smile and keep it moving. You know your intentions, and that’s what matters most.