I had to say it y’all white folk gotta stop letting pets lick on food in the kitchen while you’re cooking. It’s nasty! 😂 I’m not trying to be rude, but this is exactly why we be scared to eat from certain houses. Between the shedding hair and the dogs on the counter, I’m good. I said what I said!

Posted by Daniel

White folk, I say this with love please stop cooking with your dogs and cats up in the kitchen like they part of the meal prep team. I promise this is why a lot of us Black folk hesitate to eat from y’all house unless we really know you. 😂

White folk, please do me a favor and do this one thing because honestly this is why Black folk don’t really care to eat anything or drink anything from your home unless we truly know exactly who you are, okay? And I’m not being funny! One of the biggest things that makes our stomachs do backflips is when y’all cook and got the dogs and cats right there over the food licking the food, licking your hands — and then you turn right around and use those same hands to stir the macaroni. Lord, my soul just left my body. 😩

Listen, I know some of y’all swear up and down that a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s, or cleaner than the floor, or cleaner than whatever, but let’s keep it real I would rather eat a lollipop that fell on the floor for two seconds than eat something that came out of a dog’s mouth. That’s just me. 😂

This is not even me trying to be mean or start something, I’m saying this because it’s genuinely one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Like… how you got Fido standing on the counter sniffing the chicken while you’re seasoning it? Or Fluffy sitting on top of the bread rolls like she the dinner guest of honor? Come on now, that’s not right!

And another thing I love y’all, but white folk, y’all hair be everywhere. I’m talking on the counter, in the butter, floating across the casserole like it’s trying to escape. 🫠 It’s not even y’all’s fault sometimes, it’s just how the texture works! Y’all hair sheds more than ours, and when you’re flipping it and shaking it all around while you’re cooking, it’s like watching a shampoo commercial at the dinner table. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there praying that none of it lands in my mashed potatoes.

I know some of y’all might say, “Daniel, that’s just how we are, our pets are family!” and look, I get that. I love animals too. But family don’t need to be licking the casserole before it’s served. Family don’t need to be perched next to the deviled eggs. 😂

So please, for the love of all that’s sanitary, tie your hair back, keep your pets out the kitchen, and wash your hands before you serve folks food. Because truthfully, this right here is the number one reason we politely say, “No thank you, I already ate,” when invited to dinner. It’s not personal it’s just survival. 🙃

I’m saying this with peace, love, and maybe a little nausea. 💀