Author | Jessica Steele
The latest revelations surrounding Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker have me looking at their marriage completely differently. Todd reportedly discussed private details from their marriage while promoting his upcoming film ’Til Divorce Do Us Part, including saying that they participated in threesomes during much of their 11-year marriage.
For me, this is where my Christian beliefs come into the conversation. I believe marriage creates a sacred union between a husband and wife, and there are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. The Bible describes marriage by saying that “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). From my perspective, once other people are invited into something that was supposed to remain between two spouses, you’re opening the marriage to emotions, attachments, jealousy, temptation and other problems that can become extremely difficult to undo.
People sometimes use the term “soul ties” to describe the spiritual or emotional connections that can develop through sexual relationships. While the Bible doesn’t specifically use the phrase soul tie as a doctrine, Scripture does speak seriously about sexual intimacy and becoming “one flesh.” That is why, from my Christian perspective, I wouldn’t want additional sexual partners brought into a marriage.
Then you have all of their other private bedroom business becoming public, including discussions surrounding sex toys. Personally, I think this entire situation has become a big mess. My concern isn’t simply what two consenting adults chose to do privately. It’s what happens when boundaries change, private matters become public, and something that was supposed to strengthen a marriage potentially becomes another source of conflict.
I can’t say these choices caused Kandi and Todd’s marriage to fall apart because only the people inside that marriage truly know everything that happened. But this revelation certainly makes me wonder whether some of the boundaries they established contributed to deeper problems between them.
At some point, you have to ask: Can bringing other people into your marriage eventually change the connection you have with your spouse? And from a Christian perspective, where should the boundaries of intimacy in marriage be drawn?
